smothered in hugs

today i ran into my friend claire on the street, but since she was headed in the opposite direction we basically just said our hellos and goodbyes and i gave her a hug, with like an extra squeeze at the end. which apparently i do a lot, as claire then noted, and marla (who was with me) followed by describing as "creepy." granted, i think she was speaking of hugs in general, but the fact is that i do enjoy a good hug with a friend and don't always let people go easily. it's like, you think you're getting away? oh no, there'll be at least five more seconds of hugging, and then i'm probably going to nestle my head into your neck too (varies depending on height of course; if my head comes up to your elbow you may get a few pats on the back instead). in any case, i like hugs and once put serious thought into considering whether i'd rather get a hug or a kiss at the end of a first date.*

so, yes, what others find creepy and smarmy (perhaps justifiably) i find comforting and welcome. what is particularly ironic and annoying to me is that all of my dearest friends take marla's stance on hugs. and, of course, these are really the only people in the world that i want to hug and be hugged by, save perhaps britney spears in her downward spiral... that girl just needed a friend. anyways, so unless my mom comes to visit i am rarely hugged for months on end, leaving me so starved for this affection that i love that i end up drunkenly hugging people at parties, like a sozzled cat.

but the thing is, sometimes just beeeeeeee-ing yourself, like the genie says to Aladdin in the 1992 animated film of the same name, means coming off as slightly creepy or cheesy or corny or foolish to some people, and there's really nothing you can do about that. so to all those i love, i shall NOT apologize for hugging you! i love you. ergo, hugs. hugs for you.**

also, this is kind of a perfect opportunity to post a song by a band called smothered in hugs (like the guided by voices song) that i like called "young flare." so i will.

smothered in hugs - young flare

* barring considerations such as attraction, compatibility, and how the date itself went, my conclusions were basically as follows: hugs — comforting, yes, but perhaps a tad dispassionate. kisses — potential for passion certainly, but also for awkwardness and herpes.

** unless you like, really, really hate them and they make you hideously uncomfortable. in which case, i will respect your wishes and NOT hug you. just so you know.